I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize