i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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