And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize