By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize