The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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