Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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