i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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