Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize