mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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