No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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