The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize