I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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