so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize