Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize