Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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