if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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