Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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