jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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