What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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