rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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