either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize