I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize