Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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