ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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