He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
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Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
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Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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