dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's shark week go big or go home
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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