i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Panties = found
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