first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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