imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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