he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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