Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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