OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Randomize