he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize