I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize