i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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