I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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