i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize