Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
