I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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