I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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