where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize