just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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