its not stalking. its research.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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