We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sext me about skeletons
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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