I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
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i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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You humped everything and cried in an uber.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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