i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize