No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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