One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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