That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
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theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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