I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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