I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
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Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
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Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize