I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize