You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Say something about gay babies.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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